How to Be Happy With You Even if You Have a Big Body
Author: Pat Matson
There are many exercise and diet gurus out there telling you what to be. I applaud their dedication. I was not a superhuman who was ever able to achieve their standards and I wonder if you have been that accomplished? I suspect not. For me, spiritual healing of my sense of self (the within me) is much more achievable.
The diet and exercise approach appears to have a piece lodged within it that says “Unless you do this and look like this, you are not successful or acceptable.” I was never able to accomplish one of those acceptable bodies although I did try many, many times. God knows I tried.
I felt the disdain of others, men in particular. My parents nagged constantly for me to “do something” about it. I once had several surfers walk past where I was sunbathing on the beach at a trim size 16 and say with a snickering laugh “Oh, look! It's a beached whale.” I became obsessed with my not being okay. It's a very uncomfortable way to live.
The judgment, criticism and contempt of others was a heavy cross to bear. I made it heavier by agreeing with them. Yes, I was too fat. Yes, fat meant lazy and dumb. Yes, because of the size of my body, I was worthless!
But wait a moment! I was the one working to support myself and my sons. Their father paid me $100 bucks a month, some months? Hadn't I bought two homes by myself on a clerical salary? Hadn't I been buying my boys the OP shorts and the Van tennis shoes they needed to wear to fit in with their classmates? Didn't we have great food due to my frugality and artistic cooking? Wasn't I the woman getting promotions at work? Wasn't I in middle management capably running a team? Wasn't I dating? Didn't I drive a current, well-maintained car?
How could someone so terrible-looking and so worthless be accomplishing all of this, and I personally think my accomplishments were marvelous! I knew there had to be some wonderful thing I wasn't looking at, because I couldn't see past their sense of the unacceptability of my own body.
So, dear readers, I began the journey within myself to discover what was there that other people weren't seeing due to their own conceptions of what was acceptable. I think now that their vision is rather short-sighted, but, gosh, did it serve me well!
The journey within is one of the most exhilarating trips I've ever been on. I was driven within by the world and it's opinions, because the world of without judged harshly and erroneously. I wanted to find my own value. I wanted to know that my one sweet life was worth living.
My journey within has involved therapy, hundreds of self-help books (reading and applying), moving away from my parent's church of choice, finding a home in the realm of metaphysics, criticism from my family because of my decisions in this arena, finally settling on one area to study, becoming a teacher of that study, writing a book about my life, and setting up an avenue to share my understanding with other women who suffer from a body that just doesn't measure up to the world's mistaken standards.
I like to watch the 1940's musicals so I can still see plump thighs that jiggle. I'm saddened by the emaciation currently in vogue and called “appropriate and acceptable.” My heart goes out to girls who are starving themselves to maintain this look. Some of them are in my own family and it breaks my heart to see what they've embraced.
I now know that our relative experience mirrors an absolute reality. I think that relativity includes many, many tools that teach us about ourselves if we will become silent observers of our lives and try to figure out a way to become objective vs. subjective. I believe we have to pull ourselves away mentally to become those silent observers. Step back from your one sweet life and see what you see. You can discover how to classify your experiences objectively. I recommend looking for the lessons tucked into your experiences. That lesson, once discovered, will cease to parade in front of you, hoping maybe this time you'll get it!
I used my body as a teaching tool. It taught me that what I was thinking is what I got. I learned that to think “I am too fat” made me too fat. I learned through observing my thinking that in truth, this is a purely mental experience. I learned that my body is the Report Card of my thinking. I love my body as is. I learned that my mentality is one powerful Cause Machine. I learned that everything in my experience is caused by me through thinking. I learned that this happens whether I am aware of it or not.
You can have fun with this fat thing too. You don't have to accept the remonstrances of others as your own personal truth. I still get a kick out of my quick response one evening when I was strolling with a girlfriend. A carload of surfers caromed around the corner and one hung out the window yelling “No Fat Chicks!” So I quickly pulled down my sun dress and showed him the beauty of my Italian heritage. The look on his face is tattooed in my mind and I'm laughing now while writing this.
Become philosophical: if life has crafted you one Big Lemon, figure out how to make lemonade with it. I did, and this is what spiritual healing is about. I traveled within and I discovered a wonderful me in there. She's highly intelligent, an incredibly organized and efficient worker, extremely talented, very sexy, and both loving and generous. I'm wondering: who's inside you waiting to be loved and accepted by you?
About the Author:
Pat Matson's passion is spiritual awareness and understanding, acquired in the School of Fat Knocks. Being obese was the catalyst that kept her searching. She shares her novel concepts with other women of size, or women who imagine they are. Her book, workbooks, and teleclasses each more keenly insightful than the next live at The World of Within.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – How to Be Happy With You Even if You Have a Big Body
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